She comes to visit every Christmas and I always have a prank up my sleeve, waiting to bite her in the ass. Consuelo doesn't speak English very well, so confusion is easy.
One year I took her to the mall into Fredrick's of Hollywood to the crotchless and nippleless lingerie department. They were having a sale on the yule tide variety. Green wreaths with dainty red ribbons surrounded each opening in the undergarment. The panties had small musical devises that resembled a wrapped package, when you opened it it played Jingle Bells. I put one pair on my head and opened the package and snapped my fingers and sang and danced along with the melody. Much to the disgust of the saleswomen and other customers. My sister-in-law, Consuelo looked like a beet in a pressure cooker. She then realized her younger sister had married a madman.
Another time I waited until she got ready to use the bathroom, then I went in and fixed the toilet so it wouldn't flush. She was in there for what seemed like an eternity. Finally she came out, blushing she took my wife aside for a quiet conversation. My wife whispered to me the toilet was malfunctioning. I made a big show of getting out my tool box, making lots of clanging and banging noises, before entering the bathroom. When I opened the door I said, "Damnation, what a stench. I opened the lid of the toilet and there was a stogie would've made Fidel or George Burns gag." I stumbled out backwards, faking a faint.
Finally reviving myself, I told my wife to call Ripley's Believe It Or Not for a measurement, while I go out for a chainsaw.
One year I took her to the mall into Fredrick's of Hollywood to the crotchless and nippleless lingerie department. They were having a sale on the yule tide variety. Green wreaths with dainty red ribbons surrounded each opening in the undergarment. The panties had small musical devises that resembled a wrapped package, when you opened it it played Jingle Bells. I put one pair on my head and opened the package and snapped my fingers and sang and danced along with the melody. Much to the disgust of the saleswomen and other customers. My sister-in-law, Consuelo looked like a beet in a pressure cooker. She then realized her younger sister had married a madman.