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Born With A Criminal Mind Finishing with the bufferlistening to Cricklewood Green by Ten Years After, my drill instructor entered the barracks. He could see himself in the floor. "A letter from home, Private. Looks like it just missed you at Ft. Polk." He stepped back while I read it. My mother wrote, "There's been trouble. Come home or your father may go to prison. He doesn't have the criminal mind that you have. Please hurry, son." Sarge gave me the day off. The bus got me home in six hours. The llano from Ft. Sill to New Mexico looked deceptively the same. I gave up on the scenarios in my brain. "Harpo, raped your sister, she's okay, but you'll have to intervene or your father will kill him." She explained, after picking me up. "First thing is, I'm not here. I'll handle this my way. Drop me at Slick's." I hugged her. I could picture Harpo grabbing his crotch bragging about his big harpoon. One sick puke. "Hey, soldier boy I figured you'd be back. How we gonna do this motherfucker?" I explained my idea, when Slick smiled it was scary. We bought a pint of 180 proof Everclear and a bottle of super glue. I got two chunks of charcoal from a neighbor's grill. Harpo was shooting nine ball and drinking pitchers of Coors. Slick let him win, while slipping him the booze Mickey. I waited for two hours. Harpo staggered outside, I'd told Slick I'd take it all and he'd have an alibi. "You aren't gonna kill him?" "No, amigo. He'll wish I had." My combat boots crunched his nuts. Then I danced on him and pulled down his pants. Super gluing the charcoal to his penis, just before lighting it I pissed in his face to wake him. He screamed over and over, then whispered, "Please." "Did you say please to my sister?" Parking the blue Caddie on the artillery range. I snuck back to my bunk and nodded. "Hey, I thought you went home?" "No Sarge, everything worked out." "Did you hear those 155 shells this morning?" "No Sarge, I was kind of out." "They blew up a car." Harpo's mother's ride was gone. I put on Eight Miles High by The Byrds and shined my boots. |
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