Born With A Criminal Mind

Finishing with the buffer
listening to Cricklewood Green
by Ten Years After, my drill
instructor entered the barracks.
He could see himself in the floor.

"A letter from home, Private.
Looks like it just missed you
at Ft. Polk." He stepped back
while I read it.

My mother wrote, "There's been
trouble. Come home or your father
may go to prison. He doesn't have
the criminal mind that you have.
Please hurry, son."

Sarge gave me the day off. The
bus got me home in six hours.
The llano from Ft. Sill to New Mexico
looked deceptively the same. I
gave up on the scenarios in my brain.

"Harpo, raped your sister, she's okay,
but you'll have to intervene
or your father will kill him."
She explained, after picking me up.

"First thing is, I'm not here.
I'll handle this my way. Drop
me at Slick's." I hugged her.

I could picture Harpo grabbing
his crotch bragging about his
big harpoon. One sick puke.

"Hey, soldier boy I figured
you'd be back. How we gonna
do this motherfucker?" I explained
my idea, when Slick smiled it was scary.

We bought a pint of 180 proof
Everclear and a bottle of super glue.
I got two chunks of charcoal
from a neighbor's grill.

Harpo was shooting nine ball
and drinking pitchers of Coors.
Slick let him win, while slipping
him the booze Mickey.

I waited for two hours. Harpo
staggered outside, I'd told Slick
I'd take it all and he'd have an alibi.
"You aren't gonna kill him?"
"No, amigo. He'll wish I had."

My combat boots crunched his nuts.
Then I danced on him and pulled
down his pants. Super gluing the
charcoal to his penis, just before
lighting it I pissed in his face
to wake him.

He screamed over and over,
then whispered, "Please."
"Did you say please to my sister?"

Parking the blue Caddie on
the artillery range. I snuck
back to my bunk and nodded.

"Hey, I thought you went home?"
"No Sarge, everything worked out."
"Did you hear those 155 shells this morning?"
"No Sarge, I was kind of out."
"They blew up a car."

Harpo's mother's ride was gone.
I put on Eight Miles High by
The Byrds and shined my boots.

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